The big news July 6 was that my daughter is going to have a girl in November! 

So, I am am going to be Grandma, Gramma, Mem-mah, Granny, etc. I started by making her a dress!

And a bonnet! Then I realized that this child is going to be born in late November! In Kentucky! (It does get cold there! It’s the mid-south not the Deep South!)

I am currently testing a pattern for @life.and.yarn for a sweet baby blanket!

But before I got very far, I had an order for this sheep!

But the last time my daughter visited, she wanted him! For the baby! What’s a grandma to do? 

So, I had to make a brand new one.

I think she got a better deal. I priced the first one low because I thought he was funny looking! The second one is much better and I would have priced him higher. Pattern is by Kristi Tulles. @kristitulles on Instagram.
I have made friends with Magjesta of @majesta_M_metals also on Instagram. I purchased a diffuser bracelet and some highly concentrated lavender oil. 

And she sent along my favorite crystal necklace. It’s the Aqua Aura crystal. So, she just wanted me to send her something for a baby shower! For a Boy! I have been busy creating that! I don’t feel right publishing pictures before it gets to it’s new home. I will next time. I have made other friends on Instagram. Gems by Em(ily) @gemsbyem 

I also have found a wonderful artist Melissa Solecki http://www.alifelivedmessy.com  @alifelivedmessy. I was able to get a shirt made from one of her drawings. 

I have met a all natural soap maker: http://www.etsy.com/shop/valenanaturals by winning a pick from her shop and a natboo bamboo toothbrush! I chose Ebony and Ivory a charcoal acne soap. Even though I turned 50 I still have acne. I tried coconut oil and baking soda but it was too greasy. The soap from @valenanaturals so far is the best soap I have used. My breakouts are minimal and the older blemishes are healing. It feels very healthy. 

I also have changed how and what I am eating. Fresh fruits, greens , local honey, organic non-gmo real nutritious foods to feed my brain. I will devote an entire post to this. I was able to get a free pass to my local recreation center and I have started swimming again after at least 33 years (closer to 35 years). But being on swim team in St Charles, Illinois in the 1980’s, meant working hard. If not in the pool, then on weights. Nautilus was just emerging. So when I got into the pool and started swimming laps, it all came back to me.

I am strengthening my back so I never injure it like I did in May!! I am swimming my way into more balanced mental health.

Pictures of the boy baby shower gift and more on nutrition for mental health benefits and my granddaughter coming soon to a blog near you!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/CabinCrochetCreation

I started writing my story when I first started this blog in order to explain why crochet and knitting is SO important to me. The bottom line is that it is a great coping skill for my severe anxiety, panic attacks and deep dark clinical depression. I couldn’t have done it without Jesus. I call Him Yeshua because that is what people called Him when He walked the earth in His “skin suit”. http://www.hope4thewarrior.com or on Instagram: @hope4thewarrior asked me to tell my story/ write out my testimony. I decided to publish what I have written so far, here for you!! But first a picture of my latest creations! These are my 100% cotton knitted washcloths and crocheted flower face scrubbies. If you are interested in either set, DM me on Instagram @cabin.crochet.creations

I have been asked by @hope4thewarrior to tell you about myself. I am a 50 year old, mother of 2 (almost a grandmother). I am a RN (registered nurse) who has been on a 6 year hiatus. I am a yarn artist. And I have a mental health diagnosis. Now back in 1984, things were a lot different than now. That is when I graduated high school. June 1, 1984 I was 17 years old. The arrogant (scared), manipulative (lying), calculating dreamer had been inside me forever but I really never acted on the fantasy. Something happened when I was 14 and was a rock to my life of walking on eggshells. I didn’t know that I would be walking on those proverbial eggshells for 30 more years.

In June of 1984  my mom married my step-dad. At the time, I was very loyal to my father whom my mother divorced when I was 15. She filed for divorce when I was 14. That year between when it was filed and when it was finalized was a very turbulent year. AND I had hit puberty. I was rebellious with a capital “R”. I wasn’t rebelling for rebellions sake though. My heart hurt so badly. To see my mom and my dad whom I loved; both hurting each other, was tremendously hard to understand. Then 2 years later, my mom is marrying someone who is NOT my father. (I had no idea about the adults lives that didn’t have to do with me or my sister). Then in August, I went away to ISU (Illinois State University) in Normal.

Part 2:

Now the story is going to get pretty hairy so I want you to know that the only thing that saved my blessed assurance, was : Praying Grandparents! My mom’s father was a minister of the gospel before you had to go to seminary. When I was in my teens, Grandma and Grandpa were missionaries to Haiti in the Free Methodist Church.

My other grandparents, my Dad’s parents, were super special because I was able to see them more often because they lived in Iowa. But they were originally in southern Minnesota. Yes, I am a proud Norwegian! My Grandma was up with the birds. She loved to read her Bible and pray in her garden with the birds. There is a reason she lived so long because Jesus knew I was going to need a lot of prayer. In the summer and Christmas break I sang with her at her piano. I was a vocal performance major in 1984 at ISU and she was super happy. I sang a solo at her church the summer before I started college. Because of my parents divorce, I had to fly with my little sister to a small airport in the town where they lived but we had to fly in on a 10 seat commuter plane.

Can I tell you about my Dad? My Dad is the middle son of my Norwegein Grandpa and my German Grandmother. When I grew up, my Dad taught at College of DuPage. Biology and Botany. I had a microscope when I was 4 years old. Gives you a little clue as to why I became a nurse. But I am getting ahead of myself. When I was in 5^th grade we moved from Wheaton to Iowa City, Iowa because he needed to take the course work for his Ph. D. the hardest part is writing the book, they call a “Dissertation”. He got it in Science Education. After the year of course work we moved to St. Charles, IL where I went to 6^th grade through 12^th. And where my parents divorced.

Ok, now we are back to 1984. Curious, the book 1984 by George Orwell was about some strange times. So, I was a vocal performance major in the fall of 1984. I went to Illinois State University (where later my Dad was a Science Education Professor!). Everything fits together. It is a strange tapestry that God weaves of our life. Even if we are struggling, if someone is praying for you you will make it out. I have to tell you that 1984 was a very traumatic year for me. My heart hurt because of my parents divorce, my promiscuity, drinking and partying was the only way I could treat the pain. I had been in Youth for Christ and was “saved” (I prayed the little prayer=saved) And it didn’t miraculously “change” me. So, I did what I could but at ISU, the classes were hard, and I was doing some partying. I lived in Watterson Towers and it was a crazy system where the elevator stopped on the middle floor of a set of 5 floors that were named, houses. They were all of the Presidents names. So I lived on the 3 rd floor of the house (can’t remember it’s name!!) when I got on or off the elevator, I still had to walk down a floor to get on the elevator. I felt like a mouse in a trap. There were 2 towers with these sets of floors and the 4 elevators were for BOTH of the towers. I had panic attacks about school, about being safe, what if there was a fire? One November day I just couldn’t take it anymore!!! Everything hurt. My heart, my skin, my muscles, my soul and probably my spirit, too. I cut on my wrists, trying to kill myself. I spent 6 months in the psychiatric floor of the local hospital in Normal, IL. I am not kidding you! I went nuts in Normal, IL!!

Normal is actually the term for a college that teaches teachers from the 1800’s. My Dad got a Ph. D. in teaching teachers how to teach science.

 

More to follow…

I just want to let all of you know that my Lily remake is finished! It was nice to be able to crochet a bit since my back pain has lessened some.

Although, I tried to work on my order and got only 1 round done before my back started to spasm. My poor customer. I have kept her in the loop by email.

I used to live in the apartment above mine before I moved to Kentucky (briefly!) and shared it with my best friend. Sharing was not very healthy for either one of us because we would just trigger each other. We were never both depressed at the same time. But since I moved back, she has been more ill than well. She was doing great the last couple of months but her symptoms crept up on her again. So, I am missing my pal because she has had to go back into the hospital. We study the Bible pretty much every morning together. I do regardless, but she doesn’t sleep well at night and has to get some sleep sometime! We take turns reading out loud through “The One Year Bible”. Each day has a piece of the (so called) “Old Testament”, “New Testament”, “Psalms” and “Proverbs”. I love having the Bible broken down into daily readings. When I go through it I read through both of the “Testaments” once and “Psalms” and “Proverbs” twice. Reading it out loud helps to put it into you two ways: through the eyes and through the ears. We then discuss it. I am going it alone and it’s not as much fun.

I have been doing well for a while. The winter is the hardest for me. Shortened days, dark and cold. It can get pretty brutal here in Northern Illinois! But the humidity and heat in Western Kentucky in the summer was way too much for me. I mean, you can only take off so many clothes! If you are naked (in your own home!)😱 and still sweltering (with the air conditioner on!) then you have no where else to turn except into the shower or bath! But, if you are freezing , you can put on a lot of clothes and then get under blankets! Since I moved back, November 1, 2016, (with tons of my Dad’s help) I have been hospitalized only 1 for 3 days. Middle of winter; no sunshine for weeks; depression. I also get “somatic ” complaints. Basically you are physically sick and/or in pain not because you are making it up, but because the depression is coming out of your body. So, that’s when I need a little help and some rest.

Any way I hope you like Lilyanna Lamb the remade Lily! 

Blessings to you until our paths cross at this website again! ♥️